1. You wear spit up more often than makeup.
2. You spend way to much time tracking someone else's bowel movements.
3. You consider 6:15 A.M. "sleeping in".
4. You would give away your savings for a nap.
5. On the days you do get a chance to shower you are left with itchy skin because you did not get a chance to rinse all the soap off before the baby demanded to be removed from his bouncer.
6. You have a new appreciation for coffee.
7. You can add "stain removal expert" to your resume.
8. You consider going to the bathroom by yourself with the door closed a mini vacation.
9. You think diapers are the best gift.
10. You used to look forward to parties and booze and now all you want is a shower and a snooze.
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